Dang. Deadlines all around me. Self-imposed, but with external stressors. Benny is sleeping on my desk right now and thinks life sucks. Because he can't go out yet. I've promised he can go out with Weatherdude to watch him, tomorrow. Benny says life sucks. It's a nice day today, not tomorrow. At least I think he's saying life sucks. Considering he's asleep, it's hard to be sure.
He's sleeping on the hard copies of Anna, of course. Which I'm editing/redrafting for Taos Toolbox. And ready to tear my hair out. Because it's not perfect. argh. I know more than I did when I last put it down. I know more than I did 3 years ago at TT. But I still don't know ENOUGH. argh. The good news is that I'm happy with the current arrangement of the action and with some insights. The bad news is that I'm struggling and fighting every step of the way.
So off I go. Because the darned thing won't write itself.
Frog Out
He's sleeping on the hard copies of Anna, of course. Which I'm editing/redrafting for Taos Toolbox. And ready to tear my hair out. Because it's not perfect. argh. I know more than I did when I last put it down. I know more than I did 3 years ago at TT. But I still don't know ENOUGH. argh. The good news is that I'm happy with the current arrangement of the action and with some insights. The bad news is that I'm struggling and fighting every step of the way.
So off I go. Because the darned thing won't write itself.
Frog Out
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birdhousefrog- Oz Whiston writing as Oz Drummond
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My email with Greg this morning went like this:
GF: But you'll get better. You're confident about far more now than you were even a few years ago. Writing the interwoven Mouse King pieces has helped a lot with that. Look at how far you've come and how fast. So...in another year you should expect to be more confident, more aware and capable of more effects.
Me: To which I reply "ARGH."
Is true, BUT. Not. Fast. Enough.
I'm so frustrated.
GF: No, of course it's not fast enough. It never is. Frustrated...is exactly what I'd expect you to be. If you weren't, it'd mean you'd stopped caring about it.
I have friends I really heart. A lot. You're all correct. I'm in it and it's difficult to see it all, the writing aspect and where I am. Just writing in info this morning, which is making the chapter better. Getting the reader acquainted with where they are and who the players are and what's possibly at stake. All without giving away the plot itself. Just exposing the themes.
Hug. Thx.
Yeah.
You sound exactly like a writer.
Yeah, and resisting, though resistance is futile.
I try to remember that I have to be patient with the process, and the process includes feeling like a failure and it will never work and I keep discovering new problems that I don't know how to solve and no one's ever going to like this story anyway. Etc.
But still, I believe I can do it. Somehow. Sometime. And I will have fun doing it.
You too.
At the same time, if you didn't know more than you think you do, you wouldn't know you need TT.
P.S. Your horse is a Star.
As for the rest, yes. If I knew enough, I wouldn't need TT. And if I didn't know that I needed to learn more, I wouldn't be signed up for TT again.
Argh.
Item #2: You will never know enough. There's always more. And if it there wasn't, there'd still be new ways to look at and think about what we already know. You already know it's about the journey not the destination. Destinations are fun, of course. Nice scenary. Good dinner parties. Sparkling conversation. Maybe some cute geegaws to buy and send home to friends and family. Then it's time to resume the journey, pick a new destination, move it along, nothing more to see here.